My Parentology Lab

Since X was born, I found the pressure as a SAHM is way too harsh for me... to the extend I feel I'm strangled! I used to work in ICU, somewhere people would consider it's a work place with tremendous pressure... hahaha! SO WRONG! Eventhough with taxing work loads and horrendous atmosphere, the tension in ICU is nothing like I have at home... with 2 little rascals, one is the mischievous, who loves to whine without any apparent reason; and the other is clingy and whimper from time to time! Worst part, the eldest always intimidate the youngest and make him a crying baby that would really spoil my mood!

I'm kind of curious how other SAHM( who has more than a child)manage to handle their children, as from my observation... none of my family member would able to handle either of my child wihout any helper! While I have to babysit them with a bundle of house chores awaiting for me... I always feel guilty when I was forced to leave X in the cot or barricade him when I bathed J, 'wrestled' in the kitchen for meals or trying to clean up the front yard, leaving him cried and screeched! Whenever I have done, I'll be haunted by the sight of his face covered with sweats, mucus and tears whilst streching his arms and begging me to carry him!!

I'm getting impatience, especially with J! The 'terrible 2' in her is choking my breath... except when she has gone to her Montessori or sleeping soundly. For instance yesterday(when she came back from her school), she took her own sweet time dilly dally with a tiny winy burgle I made for her, yet she didn't manage to finish it... nevermind; she grabbed a bundles of rattles and toys into her bedroom during nap time, I have to threatened her before she put it back ... nevermind; she left her cup with Horlick on the TV cabinet( I warned her before), later the drink spilled on X (when he tried to grab it)... nevermind; until when I was busy preparing dinner, she filled water in a ballon then poured it into the washing machine and on the dining chair, whilst X was crying cause I barricade him from the kitchen... my pressure raised beyond my threshold, I grabbed J and kept her in the storage until time for dinner!!

I found weekend becomes so crucial for me... to give my strenous brain and muscles a 'time-out'( My backache is getting worst recently with my trapezius cramped up too)! I really wish to have a day out, just for myself... but how can I enjoy my rest day if I can't stop worrying J and X! I prefer family outing, just the four of us... I told Tk I want to get some books for J this weekend, he sulked miserably, " When am I going to finish painting the house?!" I continued, " Do you know what day is this Sat?" he replied, " You thought I don't know, it's your birthday!" I was rather startled, it's my birthday and I was craving to have some quality time with him and the little sprouts... can't believe that's the best answer I can get from him?!! I'd rather he said he forgot than telling me he knows but he still have to continue with the painting job!(frown)

I really wish someone... would understand and care for me(weep)! MY BODY IS SO TIRED... I just need someone to value and appreciate me... more!

I hung the clothes after lunch, then I brought J and X upstair for an afternoon nap. I was exhausted after a taxing day of house chores and yelling at J's mischievous(Phew. I lied down on the mattress hoping to get a good rest, leaving J and X messing around in the room. On and off I would pester J to lie down with me, I didn't force X to take his nap but plan to bring him down to rock in a spring cot after J fall asleep.

However, when I was halfly dozing off... X crawled to me with his head burried into my chest. Obviously he was signing for milk, I held him close to my breast and fed him in my favourite lying position. Moment later, I opened my eyes and found him dozed off while clinging on my chest. I turned to the other side to look for J, she was sleeping soundly right beside me too... I closed my eyes and rested my mind.

When I woke up, I found X was sleeping away fom me. I was thinking of getting out of the room to continue my usual routine(Blogging and blog hopping when they fall asleep), before I was able to step out the room, I got startled when X sat up suddently while rubbing his eyes. He turned around and gradually crawled towards me, I had no choice but lied down with him and continued to nurse him, hoping that he would fall back to sleep in no time. At the mean time, J woke up then she looked around, seeing I was still in the room, she lied down and fell back to her dreamland.

X still suckling whilst keeping his eyes closed, then he broke the suction on his own, rolled and leaned on my left arm. He was asleep with his eyes partly open while his pupils were moving vigorously as he was in REM state. Later I heard J mumbled and she stood up and walked to my side, against she lied down on my right arm... I gently storke her with my hand. They were both sleeping soundly which put off my idea of leaving them in the room for my cold electronic gadget, the computer!

This afternoon, they broke their records for approximately 3 hours of sufficient sleeps, in which J slept from 1300 to 1600 while X till 1630!

This morning when I nimbling a sweet bun while slurping a mug of hot steaming Horlick, X lifted my book("How to Bring Up a Happy Child") from the footrest, he turned to me, hugging a lovely smile and uttered clearly, "BOOK"! I was kind of surprised by him, thus I gave him a bear hug and praised him. He seems to be very happy and kept shaking the book to and fro, as he was signing, " I did it again! I'm such a clever boy!". I gave TK a call( His background sounds was noisy, I assumed he was still in the train)to tell him the good news, our boy's 1st "BOOK"!

Last month when he was 8 months old, he saw I was munching at bread he uttered "BREA"(D). Now when we ask him where is "Ah Po, Ah Gong, Jie Jie, PaPa, Mama and Ah Ma", he will look at the person correctly. Sometimes, I overheard he said "BYE BYE" with his hand shaking to and fro happily... other time when I ask him, "Where is (Fan, playground, dog, cat)?" he will stare at the particular object or animal.

It's really exciting to see my own children grow, specially with spectacular milestones and archievement!(smile)

I know I shouldn't spend too much on parenting magazine, but this month I fail to differ my temptation. I bought myself my all time favourite Singapore magazine Young Parents(RM10) and Malaysia Published Parenthood(RM7.50) from Endah Parade Sri Petaling, while My Child(RM5) at Popular bookstore of Jusco Equine Park.

I couldn't resist the fun and excitement topics about school holiday from Young Parents, neither I can hold back for the Father's Day articles of Parenthood and nevertheless the Montessori way of early childhood education by My Child (weep)! I really don't want to miss either one of the issues... I always remind myself that I'm now a SAHM, and should only allocate my budget for necessity since our only breadwinner is TK. At most, I should only get one magazine for the entire month... I feel guilty of buying 3 for this month, moreover I have bought J her favourite Toy Story 3 for RM15+(with 20% diccount) at Popular bookstore!

I should behave myself, to spend according to priority... sulk!